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My love is like a candle – if you forget me I will burn your house down
Kid reaching for the stars: I want to be Michael Jordan when I grow up, to achieve it I need to: 1. get bigger, 2. shave my head, 3. be black
How weird is it that you have to pretend to be asleep in order to fall asleep
Who are we? Doctors! Impossible to read text meme
Is this heaven? No, it’s Iowa, travel safely. Street sign
Me in a job interview. Talents: sleeping
When you actually treat her with respect she disappears
*Hits blunt* If tomb is pronounced toom, and womb woom, why isn’t bomb pronounced boom?
90% percent of relationship is figuring out where to eat
When your phone dies in public and you dont know what to do with yourself sad monkey