Interviewer: why do you want this job? Me: I’ve just always been very passionate about not starving to death
For the company picnic management decided that due to liability issues we could only have one beer per person. I was fired for ordering the huge giant cups
When it gets busy just as you’re about to leave work – peace bitches, I’m out
Me in a job interview. Talents: sleeping
You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back, you got tested positive for Coke. Pepsi headquaters
Image too long to display, click to expand...
Choose a degree in something you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life because that field probably isn’t hiring
Hogwarts degree isn’t worth much these days Harry Potter as airport security worker policeman
Leaving work on a Friday vs going to work on a Monday comparison Harley TIR ahead
How to write a CV: Do you have any expertise in SQL? No. Doesn’t matter, write expert in No SQL
Image too long to display, click to expand...
He couldn’t sleep for 2 days because he missed her. I couldn’t sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid semicolon in my code