Jeremy Clarkson: I always thought this was my daughter but she appears to be doing a triathlon. No it’s OK, she is my daughter after all smoking cigarette
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Donald Trump: why are there no feminists in Japan? Because the Japanese hunt whales
If you can’t handle me at my worst then leave because I don’t have a best I’m always awful Pakalu Papito
Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them to replace the oxygen they waste
Re-doing high fives because it was a bad one
Girl with weird eyes, how are you talking about normal when your eyes don’t share the same postcode
When all the shitty humans in your life screw you over your dog will still be there wagging it’s tail when it sees you that’s real love mate
Growing up with siblings taking the TV remote in the kitchen with you while you get food so that they can’t turn the channel