Friend zone is like when someone turns you down for a job then calls you every week and complains about the guy they hired
Sport is fair if hunting was a sport the animal would have a gun too. Ricky Gervais
I wish that my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply
You are what you eat I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment
The problem with rich people is that I am not one
Why get thinner when you can get more dinner?
My girlfriend accused me of being a transvestite so I packed her things and left
McDonald’s employees act like their whole career is on the line when you ask them for an extra sauce