Disconnected home alarm, deregistered from neighbourhood watch, got two Pakistani flags and ISIS flag FBI, CIA and other agencies are watching the house 24/7 never felt safer and I’m saving $49 a month
When playing a game dog says: wait bro, reload before you go to that room
My parents to me: you can’t play that it’s too violent. Me to my future children: you can’t play that it sucks here’s a better game
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The less you give a fck the happier you’ll be Jack Nicholson
A wise man once said never start an argument with a man who can end you from another zip code war army meme
Never compliment a women on her mustache no matter how magnificent it is duck meme
Warning to avoid injury don’t tell me how to do my job
If you ever get cold just stand in a corner for a bit. They are usually around 90 degrees
How to distribute your mixtape on Halloween: Twix bar pendrive
If someone ever tells you that you’re putting too much peanut butter on your bread stop talking to them you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life