What are you doing? Texting the most beautiful girl in the world, but she is not replying so texting you. Achievement unlocked: savage
What do you do for a living? I hunt and kill aliens aren’t real. Have you ever seen one? No. You’re welcome
Mondays aren’t so bad it’s your job that sucks
I push objects off shelves while looking my human in the eyes cat
My dad who has been in a coma for 3 months and presumed dead texted me this: I lived bitch selfie
You won’t have to text back if you don’t open the message protip lifehack
Some women are not for decoration protest fail
Eating carpet strictly prohibited airport India