Koalas spend 99% percent of their life eating and sleeping and 1% percent searching for a mate. If they don’t find one they go back to sleep
Consider suicide captcha fail
Interviewer: why do you want this job? Me: I’ve just always been very passionate about not starving to death
Me on Monday I want to marry my bed Adventure Time
When your friend is on the other team: if anybody’s gonna take that guy down it’s gonna be me Family Guy
When your girlfriend is mad at you vs when you are mad at her Powerpuff Girls
Professor: what inspired you to write this essay? Me: the due date
When you get to your first day of school and you can’t find your class or your locker or friends lost dog at school
We call him shadow black cat
After you get a free sample and you pretend you’re actually going to buy it