Interviewer: why do you want this job? Me: I’ve just always been very passionate about not starving to death
Happy endings, there are no happy endings, life is an uninterrupted series of humuliating failures Pinky and the Brain
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Saying do I smell popcorn right after you fart so everybody takes a deep breath trolling
Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It is called garbage can not garbage cannot
When mum says she hasn;t sat down all day but we all know she has
What you believe to be true is it true or do you just believe that it is true because you were taught so and never looked any further?
You’re not hungry, you’re just bored. Repeating in front of a mirror
For air bag test keep tailgating TIR sign
If life gives you lemons a simple surgery can give you melons sign
My love is like a candle – if you forget me I will burn your house down