I can’t wait for the day after Valentine’s day because chocolate will be 50% percent off and that’s the kind of positivity I need
No matter how rich you are our graves will be the same size, stay humble. Speak for yoursels peasant pyramids
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Me on job applications vs me in real life NASA astronaut
Holiday to do’s: be present, wrap someone in a hug, send peace, donate food, make love, be the light
Gets plenty of exercise drinks pure water breathes free air eats organic diet dead by age 35 ancient human
This is me, I trust people easily, I forgive people easily, I forget all the bad they did easily. I am an idiot, please don’t be like me
Rabbits jump and live 8 years, dogs run and live 15 years, turtles do nothing and live 150 years. Lesson learned
Ellen asking kids what kind of exercises do you do? I like sleeping, high five
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If we get married you should stop smoking, drinking, going to night clubs. What else can you leave? The idea of marrying you
Son you ask me every Sunday, yes it’s vegan! communion church priest