Shop for a new tie, make a macaroni, do cardio, don’t let the existential dreat set in, vacuum the rug
Watching your friends grow up, start businesses and have kids and you’re just like: sure wish I could get this dang ball in this cup here
Other people: wow what a perfect morning for a run. Me: wow what a perfect morning to go back to sleep
When eating something unhealthy: if I drink a lot of water I’ll be ok
I am so glad I don’t have to actually hunt, I have no clue where gluten free tacos live. bearded man
Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems Pakalu Papito
I sleep peaceful at night knowing that I’m single and ain’t nobody cheating on me tonight dog
I think my cat is actually a tiny man in a cat suit
The tumblr white girl starter pack
Dating after 30 is like: are we doing this or not? I got shit to do