On aging: up to 22 years – woo! 23 years – wait… 24 years – oh God. 25 years – please make it stop
When you open the facebook app and see photos from camera roll thinking you just posted your nudes heart attack
Useless shit in 2016: floppy disks, payphones, VCR’s, disposable cameras, FBI
Man pretending to have shaved his beard middle finger
Writing device drivers with Javascript, good luck with that. O’Reilly book
The guy who wrote this is gone, it’s running everywhere, no comments, no documentation, but 20 tickets. O’Rly book
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First woman on the moon: Houson we have a problem. What? Never mind, nothing I’m fine
When the doctor says you’re in cardiac arrest but you don’t know what that means hands in the air surrender black man
Me: please, I have a wife and kids. Robber: I’m not gonna shoot you. Me: please why not
When you’re having a good time and remember that life is limited every second passing is one closer to death