What are your plans for the weekend? Sorry I’m busy kittens in 3D
Date a girl who wears glasses, it’s like dating two girls when she takes them off. Wash off the makeup and then you can date 3 women
And I  was all like pew pew pew. Merica’ cop policeman
People are fake: how can you love your newborn baby when you met it 2 minutes ago and know nothing about it?
I hope they don’t notice I sold the entire living room for this new TV
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Are you coming to bed? I can’t this is important someone is wrong about immigrants
At age success is not peeing pants having friends money driver’s license
When the class laughs at your answer but teacher says you was right