When you’re about to ask your mum for something and you can already hear her complaining as you walk in the room
This tequila tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow
When you marry the girl your homies said you had no chance with, feeling proud showing wedding ring
Sometimes I feel ugly then I look at my brother and I’m okay monkey
Caught this guy eating four slices of pizza at once and taking a selfie
That one guy at work who’s always happy to see everyone ginger kid
Does anyone remember that? Teacher’s room: I knock, you speak
Me: should I buy it? brain: no, wallet: no, parents: no, cat: no, universe: no, me: sold
I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday
When you’re trying your best but nothing is going right dog