When you see girls like this on instagram remember who owns the boat fat old rich men
Planning a holiday in Europe this summer be like playing minesweeper game
The day after easter don’t make me run I’m full of chocolate
Car check advisory information: ridiculous Christmas CD playing in car, it’s November
That moment you realized your milk has a Valentine’s Day date and you don’t Feb 14
Thanksgiving, shmanksgiving. We both know this is because I slept with your wife rooster
The four stages of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus, 2. You don’t believe, 3. You are Santa Claus, 4. You look like Santa Claus
When you realise Christmas and New Year are over and you have to stop eating all the food drinking alcohol and generally pull your life together sad cat
I hear you’re supposed to send people hearts and kittens on Valentine’s day. You’re welcome
Time spent wrapping presents graph: looking for the tape, scissors, moving the cat