Mom: how are your grades this semester? Me: the important thing is that we have our health
Beethoven: are you guys ready to hear some hot symphonies? Yeah! I can’t hear you! deaf
Night owls tend to be more extravagant, impulsive but also more likely to develop addictive behaviors, mental disorders and antisocial tendencies
If water has a memory then homeopathy is full of shit
When your father starts forcing his healthy lifestyle on you. Cristiano Ronaldo son kid
Math test: bob has 36 bars he eats 29 what does he have now? Diabetes spiderman
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Where would you rather be when diarrhea strikes? Amusement park, Tomorrowland, first date with your crush
If you’re in bed a lot you might be lonely. Chronic loneliness cause insomnia, need to get in bed without feeling tired
Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster reduces depression and helps you live longer man sleeping on a pizza
When I get a blocked nose I fully sit and think about times then my nose wasn’t blocked and how I took it for granted