My friends treat me like God. They ignore my existence and only talk to me when they need something
Everyone has that one friend that never picks up their phone
Saw my ex riding his bike while I was riding passenger and told my friend to run him over and she didn’t. Tired of all these fake friends
When your friends are drunk and you have to look after them because they keep doing stupid things
Me: I’m gonna give that the person I like some space today. Also me: list of things with Patrick
When you freak out about losing your glasses and your friends tell you to just look for them. With what eyes?
There are 3 kinds of friends: 1. acquaintances, 2. friends, 3. those whose house you can poop at and grab yourself a drink without asking
Erdogan friendship ended with Obama now Putin is my best friend
This is Thor, an Avenger, isn’t part of the Civil War, isn’t part of his friends drama. Be like Thor
The friend who gives unsolicited relationship advice even though she’s been single for 7 years starter pack