You used so much spice people eating it are folding space and seeing the future. Gordon Ramsay
Math test: bob has 36 bars he eats 29 what does he have now? Diabetes spiderman
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This burger has no cheese: 1 like = 1 cheese
It’s stupid when girls say they can’t find a guy, yet they ignore me. It’s like saying you’re hungry when there’s a hot dog on the ground outside
Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster reduces depression and helps you live longer man sleeping on a pizza
It started out with a kiss, how did we end up like this, it was only a kiss
Woman taken to hospital, policeman stayed to prepare dinner for kids and also did the dishes Eindhoven, Netherlands
When I was a kid tic-tac’s were drugs, wafer sticks were cigarettes, gatorade was vodka, grape juice was red wine. I was just that badass
Dinosaurs grilling: oh great who invited the herbivore, I brought hummus
True love woman kissing pizza slice