Me: please, I have a wife and kids. Robber: I’m not gonna shoot you. Me: please why not
Mum told me: stop being so depressed all the time. WOW, I’m cured A++ parenting, no more tears, never have to be sad again
Gonna prank dad when he gets home black guy dad’s not coming home
When you say you gonna take a shower and your siblings says no I’m gonna shower first running
Meal with parents vs meal alone fail
Why mother, why have you forsaken me? Falling kid
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like, it was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato
I don’t even know this kid man
The girl you like, her father, first love, brother, ex, you. Programming languages
Started a game of hide and seek with my dad 20 years ago he’s the best where are you man?