It says right on the RedBull can: do not mix with alcohol. What do we do? We make jager bombs, we are not a species made to last
Your girlfriend will take 2 hours to get ready but if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready you’re the problem
Do you ever get a message and you just stare at it for a while and take a deep breath and think “what the actual fuck am I supposed to reply to that”?
Me: I gotta focus on this. Brain: ladies and gentlemen, this is mambo number five. Me: please
When she stays online 4 hours after saying good night Cristiano Ronaldo
Gays for islam vs islam for gays comparison fail
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When you fint out your wife has the right to vote on facebook polls. Sad arab muslim
On aging: up to 22 years – woo! 23 years – wait… 24 years – oh God. 25 years – please make it stop
When you open the facebook app and see photos from camera roll thinking you just posted your nudes heart attack
The guy who wrote this is gone, it’s running everywhere, no comments, no documentation, but 20 tickets. O’Rly book
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