My pick. Fat dietitian recommends chocolate bars
Doctor: you have only 2 weeks to live. Me: promise?
I wish I could pull the sad out of you like this
Nevermind guys paper is not due today, you can bring it tomorrow. Oh… sleepless night fail
I wanna start going on runs and exercising more but how do I expect myself to do that when I get exhausted from putting on a pair of socks
When you just want to be lazy but got that one friend that always just shows up wanting to do shit husky dog
Why does every mum still do this? As if I’m incapable of pushing a trolley at my age
When you ask your girl what’s wrong and she gets even more mad saying “You’re supposed to know!”
What seems to be the problem? It all started when I was born
4 AM chirp chirp motherfucker. Bird singing early in the morning