Do you guys know where I could get one of these gold necklaces with the T on it? That’s a cross. Across from where?
Batman Joker: come on hit me, I can’t hit a girl, I’m not a girl, you are using lipstick you are a girl
Girl: I’m a socialist, Me: (trying to impress her) I don’t understand economics either
Watt’s my name? I’m Knott. Not Watt, Knott. silly conversation
Image too long to display, click to expand...
What should we call this brick object that provides ventilation for the house? Jim: a jimney, Chim: I have a better idea chimney
Image too long to display, click to expand...
Doctor: I’ve got good news and bad news. Karen is leaving you for another man. Me: and the good news? Doctor: I am picking her up at 7
E-mailing teachers be like: Me: polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar. Teacher: sure – sent from my iPhone
You won’t have to text back if you don’t open the message protip lifehack
Single mom of 2, huh? Yes. Wanna make it single mother of 3? Imagine the gains. Tinder conversation
Having to go to vet is pretty rough, huh? My health and well-being is not a joke, Sharon! dog visiting vet