Single mom of 2, huh? Yes. Wanna make it single mother of 3? Imagine the gains. Tinder conversation
Having to go to vet is pretty rough, huh? My health and well-being is not a joke, Sharon! dog visiting vet
Trump: the less immigrants we let in, the better. Pence: the fewer. Trump: shh, don’t call me that in public yet
Girl: our relationship is over. Me: our relationship is what? Over.
Do you ever get a message and you just stare at it for a while and take a deep breath and think “what the actual fuck am I supposed to reply to that”?
When she stays online 4 hours after saying good night Cristiano Ronaldo
Can you hangout? No, it’s my dogs birthday. Lol what? Dog celebrating picture
Friend before date: act like you don’t care. Her: my dad died when I was 15. Me: who gives a shit
I don’t speak Nintendo, I don’t speak McDonald Japanese English
Girl: my parents aren’t home. Guy: don’t worry, they’ll come back