When your drunk AF and someone is trying to have a deep conversation with you
Ross, I’ve got a science question, if the homo sapiens were in fact “homo”, is that why they’re extinct? Joey, homo sapiens are people. Hey, I’m not judging Friends
One month after playing Pokemon GO. Doctor: do you exercise? I Pokemon GO. Doctor *writes on a notepad* fit AF
Let’s hear a joke: “woman rights”. Tinder conversation feminist
This is his GF, who are you? Why are you texting him? I’m the girl that can make any girl go from GF to EX real quick, how was my brother’s flight?
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Interviewer: so what have you planned for the future? Me: lunch. No, like long term. Oh, dinner.
Therapist: what’s wrong? He’s insane, he shows his muscles to avoid problems. You know what else is insane? *starts unbuttoning shirt*
Ladies and gentlemen, women! Did it ever once occur to you that I might have some insight? Alright, tell me. I don’t know anything about battles! Game of Thrones
Trying to make plans in the group chat is like multi level rubik’s cube
Wanna go and see football game? Grandpa: who is playing? Austria Hungary. Against whom? Grandpa what?
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