Girl: my parents aren’t home. Guy: don’t worry, they’ll come back
Grandpa: so who did you vote for? Grandma: what day is it? Grandpa: who are you? Grandma: me too. Conversation fail
Is it the weekend yet? Asked Pooh. It’s only Wednesday said Piglet. Fck said Pooh
Whom are you texting? Just my aunt. Oh, okay. Jon Snow Game of Thrones
So what’s your zodiac sign? Dinosaur. But that one doesn’t even exist. None of them exist
10 dollar haircut, what do you think? Fixed orientation, dunno man still lok pretty homo
Mandarin talking to apple: sorry I don’t speak mandarin
Are you single? No, I’m humbucker