Doctor: how bad do you wanna know the test results? Girl: I’m dying to know. Doctor: what a coincidence
Dad, are you gay? No I’m bi son. Bisons talking
When you go into deep conversation with someone who understands. Walking into space black hole
What do you call an alligator in a vest? Whatever his name is, No silly an investigator! I would call him Sir
How to start a conversation with a girl: hi wrong, kosovo je Srbija right
Date: I love dogs. Me: *trying to think of something to impress her* my dad is a dog
I’m so hungry I could eat a horse, don’t you have like two horses? BRB. That is completely unrelated to the horse thing, I promise
Image too long to display, click to expand...
Melania Trump in Saudi Arabia: do you guys have different sizes for the head rings? What’s your ring size? Guy: please stop talking to me
Send nudes, oops thats a map of Jagiellonian dynasty at it’s height, even better
Lawyer: my client is trapped inside a penny. Judge: what? Lawyer: he’s in a cent. Judge: you’re going to jail with him